The Nightmare Nanny

                You may have heard nanny horror stories but, like us, you probably thought it would never really happen to you. When I was about 6 months pregnant, I received a recommendation from a friend of mine for a live in nanny over in the East bay. Until this recommendation, Mike and I had never considered a live in nanny. We thought the idea of a nanny living with us was crazy, but so was the idea of a stranger watching our little baby! So, we decided to go for it….. and full force! We began putting together her room, bought her flowers, and rode with her on public transportation so that she wasn’t alone the first time she made the trip. Her desire was to go back to the East bay on the weekends to stay with her daughter, so we wanted to make sure she knew how to get back and forth comfortably.

The Trial Run     

                Before Devi started, we wanted to do a trial run to make sure that we were both comfortable. Since I had read her experience and she was a recommendation, the trial run was more about how she would handle living with two big dogs and being in the city (she was used to the suburbs and the city is a whole different animal).  She showed up on a Saturday night to stay the night with us. She loved the dogs and loved the city (so she claimed) J…….Everything seemed like a wonderful fit. The next morning we told her we were excited for her to join our house and we would see her on her start date.

Clearly the beginning stages of Amnesia

                Two weeks before she was supposed to start Devi started calling daily. She was curious when her start date was because she had “forgot.” At the time, I was at home with Maddie and it was difficult for me to answer the phone, so I asked Mike if he would make sure to touch base with Devi. Being helpful, Mike asked Devi to call him if she had any more questions so that he could make sure she got answered in a timely manner. On the day Devi showed up, I was at home with Maddie and I was back in her room so I must not have heard the doorbell ring. When I came walking towards the door, I heard someone knocking…. It was Devi! I welcomed her and took her things. She claimed…”I have been outside for some time now… I called Mike but he didn’t answer.” I said, “I wish you would have called me because I couldn’t hear the doorbell.” She said, “I would have but Mike said I could only call him.” This was when I realized that she might be a little off…… but given that Devi was from Fiji, I wondered if this was just a cultural difference that we would need to work through. After putting her stuff up in her room, she asked me if I had washed the comforter in her room before she came. I replied, “yes, but it has been a few weeks… is something wrong?” She told me there was some dog hair on her bed and she didn’t feel comfortable. For those of you that have dogs you understand that sometimes dog hair travels! The dogs were never on her bed but the little amount that may have traveled in there was bothering her – despite the trial run we did. Since the comforter was too big for the washer, we had to take it to get it cleaned that evening. Again – my main goal was to make her feel comfortable, so we did what we needed to do.  

                When I woke up that night to feed Maddie, I noticed Devi’s lights were on. I could also see her walking around in there and sighing. I was worried that something was wrong, so I stayed up after feeding Maddie to see if Devi was going to come out of the room. Sure enough, she came out to use the restroom. I asked her if everything was ok. She told me that she couldn’t sleep because she didn’t know how to turn the light off in her room (the light was a lamp… you know, a lamp… where you turn the knob and it clicks off…??).  The next morning Mike was ready to leave for work at 7:30….. Devi was still asleep. Of course she was……she had been up all night because she didn’t know how to work the lamp. Mike knocked on her door to wake her up for work and she quickly got ready for the day.

Her first day….. not too impressed          

                About an hour into her first day, Devi asked me if I would watch Maddie while she made her breakfast. I was a little confused…. Did she think that we were both going to be watching Maddie together? I decided to cut her some slack because I knew she had a rough night and was getting used to things. But… throughout the day it was clear that Devi didn’t really know what to do with a small baby. Every time Maddie would cry she would just bounce her more in her chair. I told her the positions Maddie liked to be held in and I showed her how to do it. She claimed that Maddie seemed uncomfortable in her arms. She made it sound as if the reason she kept Maddie in the bouncy chair all day was because she was more comfortable there than in her arms. I thought maybe she was right… Maddie needed time to get used to her. Maddie had not been with anyone else up to this point. Towards the end of the day, I heard Devi yelling from Maddie’s room so I ran to see what she needed. Maddie had poop all over herself. Devi had put the diaper on incorrectly and Maddie was covered in poop. I took Maddie to the bathtub to get her clean. Devi just stood there…. Clearly confused as to what she would do in that situation.

The days to come… long story short…

                That night when Mike got home, I told him we needed to talk. I told him about how the day went and we decided that we were going to talk to Devi, give her the feedback, and then tell her that the next day we would like for her to act like I wasn’t there with her. The following day was slightly better, but again, it was obvious that she just didn’t have the level of experience that she claimed to have with babies. All she did was put Maddie in a bouncer chair and watch TV, even when Maddie was crying. Maddie had another poop accident and Devi called my name for help. I asked her to show me what she would do if I wasn’t there. I had to walk her through every step. When she got to the part where she would need to put Maddie down for a bit to clean up, she asked me if she put her face down in her crib for naps. There was so much more… this blog would honestly be pages and pages. That night, she was up again when I got up to feed Maddie. This time she did not come out of her room.

A little breather… Unil I found out that she is truly a crazy.. .

                Devi went home for the weekend and Mike and I decided we would have a long talk while she was gone about what we wanted to do. I was really feeling uncomfortable about her not sleeping. I honestly felt bad for her that she wasn’t sleeping, but I also knew it was affecting her ability to watch Maddie. I decided that I was going to just barely pick in her room/drawers to see if I found anything out of the ordinary. To my surprise, I found a cutting knife from our kitchen tucked away in her dresser drawer. Now let me be clear here…I am not by any means saying that I think this is a crazy murderer in our house, but given that I knew she wasn’t sleeping and it was her first experience living in the city, I wondered if she was really afraid at night and that made her feel more comfortable….Either way… it made me feel UNCOMFORTABLE! Mike and I decided that she needed to go. We decided we would call and ask her if we could bring her stuff to her so she didn’t have to make the long trip back on Sunday to get her stuff….. but her phone was dead!! Through the entire weekend, every time we called we got nothing but an operator and disconnected message!

Nanny is now MIA…..

                We honestly weren’t sure when and if she would show up again. Her phone was disconnected. I tried emailing her daughter but there was no response. Both of us were confused. That Sunday evening we had plans for a date night and our friend was going to watch Maddie. I told our friend that the nanny might be showing up while we were gone, we weren’t sure as we couldn’t get a hold of her. We had no other choice but to talk to her in person and let her know she was not going to be working for us anymore.

Crazy lady shows back up

                When we got home that Sunday night, Devi had arrived. We said goodbye to our friend and we were getting ready to talk to Devi. She came out of her room and said, “Tosha… did the dogs get in my room while I was gone?” Me: “No, why?” Devi: “There is dog hair on it again.” At this point Mike replied, “Devi, we need to talk, can you come out here?” When Mike told Devi that she wouldn’t be working for us anymore and why, she began to argue with him. Long story short, it was not a very positive exchange (Only because of her reaction, Mike kept his cool and was very nice). She left upset.

The facebook message that gives you chills….

                That night I messaged my friend on facebook and apologized to her for how awkward it must have been when Devi showed up and she was watching Maddie. She wrote me a message back that not only sent chills up my spine, but made me want to chase the lady down and tell her just what I thought. The message said this:

“I didn't like her at all. But yes, she talked ALL the time, and I couldn't even understand a word of what she was saying. She was just sitting on that chair on the other side of the room starring at Maddie and I the whole time. When she first came she questioned me a lot. Asked me if I was allowed to watch tv there, how much you paid me, and if the only thing I did there was to babysit. I felt like I was going through an interview. Then she told me all about her miserable life and how bad her ex-husband treated her, how he paid all those hookers that were my age, and how she couldn't carry Maddie too much cause her arm was still in pain after her husband pushed her and her arm broke some years ago. In her opinion, kids shouldn't be carried around, but they should be left in the chair crying until they fell asleep by themselves. I was just so shocked by everything that woman said. If you didn't tell me you let her go, I would have told you, cause I just did not feel comfortable with her. I feel bad for you guys though having to go out there and look for someone again, but I'm sure you'll find someone better than her, for sure.”

I just wish I would have gotten this message before we fired her…. The conversation would have been much different!!! San Franciscans…. If you run across a women on care.com named DEVI…. RUN!

P.S. - I am happy to announce that we now have an EXCELLENT nanny. She is wonderful with Maddie and we couldn't be happier :)